Why kids need a good ol' fashioned ass whoop....

I know somewhere, somebody has already touched on this subject. Bad ass kids! They provide hours of entertainment and can work your last nerve all at the same time. I was at the Naval Exchange (NEX) just a few minutes ago and saw the most incredile display of ignorance from a 5 year old I will probably ever see. I expect to see some crazy shit at say....Wal-Mart, BJ's, or Kmart. The NEX? Nah. If it happens, that is YouTube worthy shit right there. You gotta have some serious nuts to cut the fool in there. Security don't play.

Anyway, the Navy is about to shift into this "new uniform" called Navy Working Uniform, aka camoflaugue. So I go to the NEX to order some nametapes, because we have to have our names on our shirt and ass so people have a reason to look at my heinpot and act like they know who I am. And that's when it happened. It was almost like the Sun, Moon, quasars and all that shit aligned perfectly for me, because I'm never privvy to seeing such displays in my life. I see this woman struggling with this rather outspoken child. She's trying to calm him down but he's obviously paying her no attention.

Here goes the conversation.....

Woman: Stand still Justin. [in a non-authoritative way....mousy if you ask me.]
Justin: I don't wanna fuckin' stand still! [shouting]
Woman: Justin....watch your mouth. Stand over here right now! [a little more authoritative]
Justin: I told you no! [yells some other expletives]

Now I must pause for a second because I'm not believing what I'm seeing here. The whole time this kid is showing out, and she's obviously getting frustrated. To her credit she was holding her composure. Key word in that last sentence....was. This is where the shit get's better. This old lady....had to be in her 60's now enters the story.

Woman: Justin....come over here now and don't say another word.
Justin: No! You're not gonna do anything to me.
Old Woman: Might I suggest you slap the shit out of him.

Woman looks at me, looks at the vendor, we both shrug. Justin starts to walk over towards her. Woman cocks her hand back like she's about to hit a grown ass motherfucker and......

WHACK!

She hit him so hard he literally slid across the floor to the next vendor booth! My jaw dropped and the vendor's jaw dropped at the same time. You hear some dude in the vicinity say, "DAAAAAMMMMMNNNN!!!!" Justin gets up, face is as red as the planet Mars, tears flowing like Niagra Falls, and he's holding his face like it was about to fall off. Now on the inside I'm laughing my ass off at what I just witnessed.

Woman: Now shut the fuck up, stand right here, and don't you dare move! [has her balls now]
Justin: Silence....

Now I don't condone child abuse or no shit like that, but that kid had it coming for real! Hell, I had my fair share of STFU slaps in my day. Nothing like what this little kid endured though. I know he's gonna think twice before cutting up again. What was fucked up about this whole situation....I didn't even have my phone on me because I damn sure would have YouTubed this shit!

Slap (Dirty) - Ludacris

Ladies, have you ever wondered.....

FOR THOSE THAT ARE NOT USED TO ME, I SUGGEST YOU HEED THIS DISCLAIMER. IF YOU EVER SEE ONE OF THESE, THAT MEANS....I'M PROBABLY ABOUT TO OFFEND SOMEONE. I'M ABOUT TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING REALLY CONTROVERSIAL. THERE WILL BE A HEALTHY USE OF EXPLETIVES TO FOLLOW. IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ANYTHING THAT I SAY, YOU HAVE THAT RIGHT. JUST UNDERSTAND THAT I DON'T TAKE SHIT, AND SHIT GETS DEALT WITH.

SINCE YOU'VE BEEN WARNED....I SHALL PROCEED.

Why am I still single?

I was on Facebook earlier, and a friend asked a question for the fellas. She wanted to know why do we think women are still single. Now usually this type of question leads to heated debates. Anything dealing with male/female relationships is a touchy subject. I felt that I had to write a blog to explain why women are still single.

Now the first brave male to respond said women are too picky. I can agree with that....to an extent. We all have preferences in what we want out of a significant other (SO). There is absolutely nothing wrong with having standards. We should not have to settle for anything in life. However, when you have unrealistic standards and expectations for a SO. sa...that is when you become too picky, and you end up missing out on perhaps a great person.

Another male says,

Because the men are trifling, too old and still playing the "players game" trying to mack and get panties from every lady instead of picking one and leaving her exclusively. Fellas, step your game up...or better yet, get a life, and stop the games. Being a "mack" or playa is not a good look for a man in this day and age.

I completely disagree with this because he said "men are." No matter what age he is....if he's "playing games" he is a boy in my eyes and not a man. Boys play games. It's that simple. That is why I disagree with that statement.

[begin my opinion]

One of my huge turn-off's is when woman constantly reminds me that she is an independent woman. That shit bugs the fuck outta me. When you [the type of woman I'm speaaking about] do that, you are in a sense....emasculating that man. For the most part, men want to feel needed, be a rock for a woman. We want to provide for you and be your protector. When you constantly remind us that you don't need us for shit, how do you think that makes us feel? Now I do commend the woman that has made it in the corporate world. I know how hard women have worked to gain that respect. However, that's not a good look for you. That could be a reason you are still single. Slice of humble pie, goes a long way.

Another huge reason some women are still single is they learn from their past a little too well. What I mean is when you've been done wrong, you don't let go of the hurt and hold it against the next man. You don't give the new guy his chance to fuck up. I know that sounds funny but we are all human. Men and women are bound to make mistakes, but when you start to expect him to fuck up. That's when we do fuck up. Some of us honestly never have a real chance at showing you that we are different from the last person that fucked you over.

[/end my opinion]

Have a good day

The Badass Bunny

Good vs. Nice

How are all you doing? I'm doing lovely. In a better mood today for whatever reason. No I didn't get any ass last night. Though a flight to....does sound good....uhhh, nevermind. Anyway, it's almost 2009 and women are still asking "Where are all the good men at?" So basically what I'm gonna do is put my spin on this question. Why do women fall for the 'nice guy', instead of the good man?

To really understand this question, you have to understand my views about the 'nice guy' versus the good man. These are only my views, however comma, they make perfectly good sense to me and a few other people once I've explained thoroughly.

The problem with women is you keep falling for the 'nice guy.' Think about it ladies....he's polite, punctual, chivalrous, generous and all those other good qualities a man should have. You really want to know what his problem is? He always seem to show up at the perfect time. He's your knight in shining armor. He gallops into your life on his trusty white steed and whisks you off to his castle to live happily ever after. This muthafucka does everything right. I know yawl probably like, "where the hell are you going with this?" The difference between the 'nice guy' and the good man, is that the 'nice guy' is only like that til he gets the booty. Then he turns from knight to pirate. The good man will do all this shit....but once you've brought that relationship to another level, the good man ain't going nowhere. I think House said it before, "Grown men handle their shit!" The 'nice guy' does all this shit just to break your heart in the end. A "nice guy" does shit and expects you to do something in return. 'Nice guys' are wolves in sheep's clothing. Yawl know what I'm talking about too! I call it the "Knight In Shining Armor Syndrome" because of the way this fucker comes swooping into your life. These 'nice guys' are fucking it up for the good men out there. Now good men can do all that shit too, but see the difference in how long the good man sticks with you as opposed to the 'nice guy.'

Now this is where I explain what a real 'nice guy' is. 'Nice guys'.....are indeed homosexual men. Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, hear me out. This is no offense to gay men. It's been said men will be be men. Always thinking about sex, can never settle down, lie all the time, you know....the typical. Well the same can be said about gay men as well, except there's one difference between them and heterosexual men. They don't want anything sexual from a woman. Gay men can listen to your problem and offer solutions to your problems to help you get back on track. They can genuinely be nice to you. Now those men that claim the 'nice' moniker, are sheep in wolf clothing. They beat around the bush, and act as if they care just like a homosexual man would, when in fact they really want what those 'dogs' want....sex. It's evident some women know what I'm talking about because some of yawl wouldn't have so many gay male friends. Yawl can talk about the same shit. Gettin dick. How much men suck or don't suck. They really listen to your problems. Not to mention, some of the gay dudes I know are fucking hiliarious. Getting back to the point, I notice things. Women are a lot more comfortable and open with their gay male friends. They feel safe because when they go out, and believe it or not....they can call a 'dog' when they see one. I've seen the shit first hand.

So now whe have the good man. More often than not, it's that quiet brother looking out the window of a bus. He's the guy you cut your eyes at on the elevator when he says, "Good Morning." He's the brother that you clown every chance you get because he's not on 24's, 26's or 30's. He's not driving a Benz, he's driving an Escort. Good men are all over the place ladies. We still do all the chivalry shit, we respect you enough to tell you our intentions from the door. Yeah we may fuck up. We are human, just like you. We bleed, we cry, and we love. We also see that with some of your 'preferences', we don't stand a chance. Yeah we may have standards ourselves, but when that emotion hits....standards go out the window. I thought some of you females were nuts for saying I was one of the good men out here. That's my word. Slowly, I've been realizing all of what you're saying. I've been done wrong. I consider myself a damn good man. I tell you shit straight up. If you don't like it, go to someone who will give a fuck. I say shit that most people wouldn't. Stop falling for these loser ass dudes. Give that starving artist a chance.

It wouldn't be me if I didn't leave a song for you to listen to....

Dear Santa,

I stopped by Irys' Myspace blog and she wrote a 'Dear Santa' letter so why can't I? I'm usually the biggest Scrooge around the holidays so I might as well give a wholehearted attempt at not being a dick this year for the holidays. I know....I know....what are you all gonna do with me?

Dear Santa,

It's been a while since I've written you. Ok....it's been 19 years, but who's counting? Anyway, seeming as how you are the happiest fat man I know besides Peter Griffin, I thought I'd let you in on what I want for Christmas. Now before you go checking the naughty and nice list, I'mma tell you like I tell the police when they pull me over....I'm on the other list. However, you don't strike me as the type to hold grudges, so let's just say as I'm writing this the only naughty thing I've done was steal some internet. LOL!

Anyway, my list is quite simple and you really shouldn't have a problem handling it all things considered.

1. If you could drop off a Lotto Ticket for say....The Big Game when the jackpot is around $200 million, that would be swell.

2. I would appreciate it if you could go to the program directors at Lifetime and tell them to stop putting mafia movies on their channel. I feel kinda weird watching 'Goodfellas' on Lifetime.

3. Can you please tell all these rappers that Auto-Tune is not the new hot shit. Zapp and Roger were doing wayyyyy before T-Pain. Hell, give me a fan and I'll sing Phil Collins 'In the Air Tonight.' Do you remember....

4. Speaking of T-Pain, can you go to his house and take all those damn top hats? He's starting a fashion trend that I'm not too comfortable embracing as of yet.

5. Another inch please and thank you. (Get yawl minds out the damn gutter.)

6. Can you make Tara's Mac & Cheese a National Dish? I'm saying....you're Santa. You can make it happen.

7. Can you make sure my first wish happens for my mother as well? I mean she deserves it for putting up with me for 28 years.

See, I told you I don't ask for much big guy.

Your friend,

The Bad Ass Bunny

The other side of loneliness....

It's been a long while since I've posted anything of any sort of relevance on here, and with Thanksgiving tomorrow....might as well get one out. Since it is the holidays (bah-hum-bug), I wanna take the time out to thank everyone that has been there with me. Good and the bad. I realized there are a lot of motherfuckers on here that honestly, shouldn't be breathing. You keep it real with me, I keep it real with you. It's that easy with me. So I wanna thank everyone that kept it 100 since I've been on here. Now....let's start the show.

I was listening to 103Jamz while sitting in traffic today. For those that really know me, I hate sitting in traffic. Anyway, the radio host Chris Caliente has her little segment called 'Girl Talk.' They were talking about being the other woman during the holidays. It kinda got me thinking about the situation I'm in. A few ladies shared their stories, but one female in particular I could relate to. I've been kinda with this married woman for the past 2 years. The way we came about was completely unexpected. I wasn't trying to get at her and she wasn't trying to get at me. We really just happened. Anyway, the caller went on to talk about how it was hard for her during the holidays because eventhough she got gifts....she couldn't be with the person she loved, therefore she was lonely during the holiday season. She was 'with' this man for 2 years and he was going through some things with his wife. The caller thought he was gonna leave his wife, but it never happened. (This is the only difference with me. I only hoped she would leave this dude, but I never at any point actually thought she was gonna leave him. At least I was a realist about the whole thing.) I felt kinda bad for her because she still has feelings for this dude.

Eventhough you know you're entering a fucked up situation, it's still hard to move on especially when feelings are involved. That's why it's so hard for me to find someone else because in my mind, no one can make me feel the way she does. A couple of you know because we've talked about it. So I wanna ask these questions for everyone.


Have you ever been the 'other person' in a relationship? If so, were there any benefits?

What do you think are the benefits/downfalls to being the 'other person' in a relationship?